Wow, this is interesting…
You have all the possibilities in the world to create a good communication between you and her. Remember that some of the most important is that you act like a man. Despite recent talk of equality, women will still want a man to behave and speak like a man. Accept that it’s you who will lead and take the initiative in the conversation, and then you are already on the right track.
Let’s get started…
Start with a bit of Smalltalk, ask her how her day was, and then follow up with:
… Something about someone in the entertainment industry with lots of drama.
Stick to the present and the future. The past is old news, and it will easily look like you’re searching for topics that only couples being together for a long time would want to discuss. Ask her questions that can be answered with anything other than yes / no, it expands the conversation.
Try making up questions that are unconventional, ask something she has not been asked before. If you can memorize just a few questions, you will have something to start from, and it will make you less nervous. Then you can expand on topics and continue the conversation from there.
If you run out of topics and questions, you can just take a look around. For example, try to talk about anything surrounding her, her choice of clothing, jewelry, hairstyle, etc. Ask for instance, what the story behind her jewelry is.
If there is a TV on, use whatever they are showing right now to start some Smalltalk. Remember that the topic should be a little dramatic, sinister and sensational, but not too negative. If you can then combine it with a little humor, it’s really good.
If for example “Games of thrones” is on, you can say:
“Have you ever seen this show? What do you think about that? “And after she answers:” What is it with these medieval metal men, all running around trying to take each other’s cities? Midlife crisis? “.
You need to get her to use the romantic part of the brain, and not just the question / answer part. For this, “What if…” questions are some of the best.
Avoid at all costs topics that are:
Remember to never let go of the self-discipline. She will not like if you play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde changing your mind all the time, be consistent in your behavior.
You can also consciously choose to misunderstand what she says.
If she asks if you should get another coffee and says, “Let’s do it”, turn your face towards her and say, “Let’s do it! … do you mean here? I’d rather have another cup of coffee”. It will help to disarm her, and she will not be as vigilant as before.
If she mentions parts of her body in negative terms, grab that immediate possibility. If for example, she says that her hair looks terrible today, you can immediately say: “Yes, I would not mention that before, but it’s true! Very funny this. “.
You can always return to the hair topic later and tell her that all people are watching it because it looks so funny, and that you are embarrassed to be seen with her, etc.
Remember, do not laugh too much of your own jokes, if you can keep a straight face, the joke will gain more power.
Believe in yourself, stay in control and you will find that the conversation slowly begins to run smoothly by itself from topic to topic.